21 Day Writing Challenge – Day 1

A good friend forwarded me this challenge to start off the new year, and I couldn’t say no. Blogger Sarah Peck leads this 21 day challenge. To sign up, click here!

Day 1 Prompt: The Crowd Cheers
You walk outside and there’s a crowd of people standing there, cheering your name. As you stare at them, they cheer louder and more people join in. What are they cheering for?

Today, that audience is cheering because I am awake and breathing and not yelling at anyone. I woke up and tried to have a day that would start 2016 right. It was my first day back to work since before the Christmas holiday, and I wanted to get to the office early and enjoy a cup of coffee as I covered my emails.

A typical nap with the two pups – Simba is the bigger one, Nala is the little black one.

I climbed out of bed a few minutes after 6, and then climbed back in for 10 more minutes with the puppies. Simba curls up like a little boy next to me, and Nala licks my ears from my pillow. It’s heavenly when I have no where to be.

6:15 and I was in the shower. I got the dogs out once I was dried and dressed, fed them while I threw on make-up. At 7:30 I was out the door, and the dogs were back in bed with Aaron.

I was the first one into the office, as I had hoped. I brewed coffee and read through all 130+ emails that awaited me. All was calm until 10:00 when Aaron woke up. Nala had peed all over the bed, his briefcase was in my car. I realized I had forgotten my meds when my heart started racing. Crap.

Having it all together began to feel like everything was falling apart.

I poked out of the office at 11:00, taking an early lunch off-site. I went straight home, let Aaron finish getting dressed while I stripped the bed, and put the first load of white in with bleach and pet odor neutralizer. I sprayed down the top of the mattress and sopped up what else I could. I went to the kitchen, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.

IMG_1468Aaron took the dogs out, Nala first since she has struggling. Before he was entirely out the door, Simba squated and started to poop right in front of me. He stopped when I smacked him, but ran through his mess and dragged it through the kitchen. I got him outside where he finished pooping, and traded him to Aaron and took Nala inside.

I cleaned it all. I soaked up every spot, sprayed again and soaked it up again. Aaron came back in and opened the back door to let the apartment air out. I sprayed febreeze around the house, up and down the carpets, all over the bed. It would have all afternoon to air out.

We were just about finished, everything was pretty much back to normal. I started to tidy the pillows on the couch when I realized there was another enormous puddle of urine on the leather seat…

Nala had gone a second time. We hadn’t even noticed.

One pillow got thrown away, another is waiting for it’s turn in the washer.

I started to cry.

Aaron was getting ready to go to the office, likely his last day with Dell. They ended his contract and didn’t follow through on the one month renewal they had promised before the holiday. He was stressed before, I could tell.

If there are people applauding me today, it is likely because my hysteria and stress has been laughable to them. I know none of the things that happened today were life and death. I know everything is going to be more than fine tonight. I already can’t wait to be back with those stinky mutts and that needy man, that’s not what I dread.

What I dread is that I will have to continue coming back to this office and leaving my family at home, where I am so clearly needed now. I don’t regret having two dogs, I regret not having two babies to play with them with and I resent having to come to work every morning. Aaron thinks this frustration is about him, wishing he would work harder. Really I just want to be with him, with them and enjoying that little house and those crazy pups.

If there are people applauding me today, I am insanely embarrassed. I want to go home, I want to stop feeling so stressed. I want to stop feeling other people’s stress.

Sometimes we seem to have it all together…

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